Examination of a Victor
by DemonicAngelGREED
Summary: -Career of 12 verse- Finnick knew what the life of a victor meant and had become numb to the pain it brings. But the ten years after his own victory he began to feel again all because of a blonde volunteer from District twelve.


**Here is the one-shot from Finnick's P.O.V that a lot of you requested. I must say it was weird writing from his point of view but I actually really proud of this, i think it's good and shows what he was thinking throughout certain points in the main story. I hope you all enjoy this as much as I did writing it.  
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**Oh the title comes form the Taylor Swift song 'Eyes Open'  
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**Everyone's Waiting for the Fall Down**

_**Finnick's P.O.V**_

I was fourteen when I became a murder, fourteen when I was first sold to someone for sex, I was fifteen when I found a friend in someone from the capitol, I was sixteen when I began to hate myself and I was seventeen when I fell in love and throughout all of this: the capitol had loomed over me, all because my name was pulled out of thousands of other slips in my district and I was luckily enough to survive my own hunger games. I had heard many hopeful tributes whisper about how glamorous the life of a victor seemed, how amazing Cashmere and I looked as we paraded around the capitol almost all year round but what they didn't get was that the life of a victor was a life of misery.

When my friend Portia-who had been a part of my hunger games experience for five years, decided to quit I had lost the one person in the capitol I trusted more than anyone. Sure I had my fellow victors but with Portia: she had been like my sister, what with us being the same age and having to go through five years of tributes and blood and death together I had come to love her dearly. Of course I was happy she had gotten away when she had but it had left me with no one really to talk to. So I did what I had to, slept with who Snow wanted me to, trained tributes one a year only for them to die in the arena and then went home for a few weeks to check on Annie. That was my life for five year…that is until the reapings for the seventy fourth hunger games.

The games that year were already gaining my attention what with Portia voluntarily coming back for the games that year to be the stylist for district twelve. I didn't know if it was just because of that or if I was just anxious to get the games over with so I could spend a few restful weeks back in district four but I was suddenly wanting the games to be over more than normal.

I had already been in the capitol before the reapings so I got to watch the live shootings with the other capitol citizens. I got to watch the beautiful blonde who put Cashmere to shame be reaped and got to hear the male citizens mutter about prices and how much she would be worth which made me sicker than any person I've slept with had. I watched as the boy volunteered valiantly to stand beside her. District two was nothing surprising but their tributes stood out for some reason and I knew as soon as my own tributes were reaped they stood no chance. I ignored most of the reapings and instead focused on keeping on my acting face that is until the boy from twelve was reveal. Everything was fine: until Peeta Mellark volunteered.

I watched as the beautiful boy stepped forward for the twelve year old boy and took his place as the tribute for district twelve looking strong and ready to kill twenty three tributes and I'm suddenly captivated by the blonde on stage. The capitol citizens had also been impressed with him because they immediately begin throwing words around like Career and prices making me feel sick all over again as I suddenly realize what the capitol have planned for the young boy if he does win in the end.

But I keep my mouth shut and happily welcome my tributes to the capitol when they arrive before allowing the prep teams take them away, out of the corner of my eye I can see he beautiful blonde sixteen year old being taken away by Venturis who I knew from the work he had done with Portia and suddenly I ache to walk over and tell the boy just to lie down and die: because really who wanted to be a victor, and he could do it I knew it he had the look in the reapings. During the parade that night I sat down next to Haymitch and sigh when I see how disastrous my tributes looked in their fish costumes it really was as if my stylists didn't try at all.

"Your tributes look miserable" Haymitch commented and I chuckle when I realized that for the first time since I met the victor of district twelve the man was actually one hundred percent sober. "I mean I would feel bad too if I was forced to wear that as well but they could at least attempt to smile…you did tell them that they weren't meant to attract sponsors right?" he asked arching an eyebrow and once again I remember just how watchful and smart the man next to me was.

"Like you said, I think anyone would be miserable looking like that" I muttered sadly shaking my head "even I couldn't pull that off"

Haymitch chuckled distractedly and I knew that he was busy looking out for his tributes, not that I could blame him practically everyone was busy looking for district twelve and the boy who could easily be the first career tribute from the outlying district. When they finally revealed themselves I felt my mind go blank and fill with only one thing: and that was how amazing Peeta looked standing up on his chariot. His black suit gleaming like a million onyx gemstones while flames licked behind him making him look proud and strong but not arrogant: he was perfect and suddenly I wonder if this was how the capitol felt when I myself was paraded around in front of all of Panem to see for my own games ten years ago.

"Nicely done kid" I hear Haymitch whisper and when I look over I see the man smiling at his chariot proudly and suddenly I realize that there was no doubt in my mind that Peeta would win.

After the parade I go down to see my tributes but find my eye locking onto the district twelve chariot the whole time, I must have been bad because Mags elbowed me in the side and gave me a cheeky grin-one that she still hasn't lost despite everything-before motioning for me to follow her up to the fourth floor apartment. "I know that he was amazing out there but just remember you have your own tributes to try and bring home Fin" she said as me linked arms.

After that I tried focusing on my own tributes but Peeta was always on my mind and when Melody came back after training on the first day and told me about how much Peeta could lift I was suddenly well aware my tributes didn't stand the slightest chance. They must have known as well because when they got back to the apartment after the second day of training they didn't tell me anything about their own training and only about the career tributes and told me about how amazing they were. That night Mags and I had just shared a look that said everything: the two of them had given up.

In the end my tributes both scored sixes, Peeta scored a ten: the same as two of the career tributes and yet my tributes just shrugged it off and continued on with their night as if they had nothing to worry about. "They won't make it out of the bloodbath" mags said sadly later on as we shared a cup of tea together. I merely sighed and nodded in agreement because I knew it in my heart that district four would once again be victor less this year-although Annie being the last one to come from district four maybe that was a good thing.

The next night at the after party I was told by President Snow to show Glimmer and Peeta the 'ropes' making me want to throw up right away. Basically he wanted me to teach them how to deal with what being an escort was like and I had wanted to throw every in the blood smelling man's face and tell him it to stick it, but I was never that brave and instead I lead Glimmer around the ball room for half the night introducing her to the men who would no doubt buy her if she won and when Peeta arrived I allowed him to dance for a while before leading him to the men and women who were dying to get a piece of the boy who had single handily changed the games expectations. In that time I had learned that Peeta was in fact planning on winning not for the glory of being a victor but in fact it was for the boy who he had volunteered for and in that moment I realized just what kind of driving force that would be for someone as loyal as Peeta.

The morning of the games arrived and I escorted my tributes to the hover crafts and wished them the best of luck, because what else could I do for two kids who had already come to terms with the fact they were as good dead? I ended up by Haymitch's side for the beginning of the games and when they started I was ready for my tributes to be two of the first to die but I'm shocked when they both managed to corner the two female career tributes. But the biggest shock was when Peeta of all people brutally killed not just one of my tributes but both of them single handily saving both Clove from District Two and Glimmer from District one.

"Sorry about that Fin" Haymitch said after a moment but I wave him off as the camera zooms in on the boy from twelve who is hugging Marvel tightly.

I'm not upset in the slightest that Peeta killed my tributes, I had already known my tribute would lose so it didn't come as a big problem to me and now I could focus all my attention on the boy from district twelve. I watched as Peeta hunted with the other careers and easily killed the deer creature ensuring his group a meal and then when he was made a part of the career alliance. As the games continued I couldn't help but feel my heart break with each moment I saw Peeta turning more and more into a killer the capitol would be proud of. Every day I could see Haymitch falling a little more distressed as Peeta began to lose himself and when the district twelve mentors finally say Peeta cry over Clove's corpse he excused himself from the viewing room.

"Excuse me" Effie said softly and walked out after the man she had been beside for six years.

Portia motioned for me to follow and when I did I was shocked to see Haymitch sobbing on Effie's shoulder as she held back her own tears stroking his straw colored hair cooing in his ear softly. Smiling sadly I walk back to the space Portia once had been and I'm shock to see that my old friend was gone when I look at Venturis he sigh and shrugged but deep down we both know who she's gone to go see. Portia had gone to go see the only person who could ensure that Peeta would be in that hover craft in a few days-times: Seneca Crane.

Not that she could really convince him to save Peeta but I knew deep down all those affections she had felt for the head game maker hadn't faded and that she still cared for him deeply. At this moment she needed any comfort she could get and if that source just so happened to be Seneca then who was I to judge her. After that I had to watch as Peeta lost Glimmer in a painful heartbreaking scene-although deep down I was a little relieved because I hadn't wanted to see the beautiful blonde girl to be taken by the capitol and made into some cheap whore-and then Marvel in an all-out attack via the mutts that Peeta himself had been attacked by the previous afternoon.

The final day of the games I was sitting on the edge of my seat waiting to see how Peeta and maybe even Cato got out of the games, but when Peeta and Katniss faced off I felt everything stop. Haymitch was with Effie holding onto her for dear life as she tried to calm him down, in the end it was Cato who had the final strike and I wasn't sure why that felt more fitting than if Peeta had killed his district partner. I clap Haymitch on the shoulder just before he is escorted away by peacekeepers and suddenly everything hit me at once: Peeta won, he was a victor, which meant he was going to be an escort and all the happy relief I had felt washed away.

During the victory crowning I'm standing next to Johanna who is staring at Peeta and Cato with pity clearly displayed in her eyes "What?" I ask her quietly as I applaud the two victors.

"That kid: Peeta, he's gonna end up just like you an did" she said sadly "President Snow has already began taking offers" I'm shocked at this information but I don't say anything and instead just stand up straight and look over to where Peeta is being crowned and feel my heart break for the couple sitting on matching thrones.

The victor from district seven looked up at Peeta and Cato who were now holding up their clasped hands and smiled sadly "The sad thing is Snow will use Cato against Peeta just as he used your family against you" I nod and run a hand through my hair "So Fin what are we going to do about it?"

I look up at the boys on the stage and then back over to my friend and offer her a sad smile which she returned "We're gonna help him of course" and I meant every word I said.

In the end it took six months for reality to hit home. I had kept in contact with Effie-who had been forced to stay in the capitol to start preparing the victory tour instead of returning with Haymitch-and Haymitch himself and was surprised that a month after returning back to twelve Peeta and Haymitch were both relocated to district two so that the boy from district two could be with his lover. But I knew that the president Snow was going to do something in response to his 'merciful' actions, and after six months everything came into the light.

I was in the capitol for my unofficial job as an escort and had just gotten back from a client when the phone rang I picked it up hesitantly and was ready to hear Johanna's rough and slightly hung over voice on the line but I was surprised when it was Peeta's nervous and slightly scared voice coming out of the speaker. "Finnick is that you?"

"Yeah Peeta is that you?" I ask still slightly shocked that the newest victor of the hunger games was ringing me up.

Up until that point I had completely forgot what President Snow had made me get Peeta ready for after the interviews before the seventy fourth games. "Yeah…Portia and Haymitch told me that I could call you if I had a problem that you had experience in" he said nervously and I think about the beautiful stylist who was currently in a relationship with Seneca despite the dangers such a coupling could cause.

I'm shocked Peeta had called me and I actually can't think I could help him with anything "Ah Peet I'm always open for helping someone who needs it but I can't think that I'd be better than Portia at giving advice you must know that" I say in amusement as I lean on the counter top picking up a butter cookie that Effie had sent me the other day.

"So Portia could teach me how to be a capitol escort?" Peeta asked nervously and I felt my blood run cold, it couldn't be.

Swallowing the mouthful I had just taken I glare into nothing "Peeta are you telling me that you're going to become an escort…like me?" I ask and silently I pray for him to say the negative despite the fact I know he will most likely say yes.

A moment of silence paused and I hear Peeta sigh tiredly on the line making my own eyes slide closed almost as if I'm in pain "Yes Finnick…Snow sold me" he said pitifully and as he does I feel my fists tighten into fists "After my victory tour I have my first client"

"Peeta I'm going to take care of you" I hear myself swear and I mean it, Peeta would need looking out for and I would be damned if it wasn't me "Do you understand you won't be alone I won't let you be: I'll take care of you"

I hear Peeta let out a shaky breath of relief "Thank you" he breathed and I suddenly realize I have to hang up before I smash something it in anger.

So I clear my throat before speaking to gain some control of my emotions "Peeta we'll talk more later I promise but I have to go…I just got home from…work" I say wincing as I realize how bad it would be to bring that up at this moment.

"Yeah okay" I was right bringing up my own escorting lifestyle just after being told that Peeta himself was being forced into this life was not the best thing in the world "Rest well Finnick" he whispers before hanging up.

I let the phone slide from my ear and then slide down the wall and put my face in my hands at a total loss of what to do, I know I should tell Johanna what just happened but I can't bring myself to face reality just quite yet. I don't want to make myself face the cruel harsh world of a victor just yet I want to carry on acting like the capitol wanted me to: I want to be happy and content not terrified and lost in my own self. All I could think of was how I was going to protect Peeta from the darkness of the capitol so that his fire didn't go out, like Portia once said: Peeta burned with more fire than any costume she could make him wear and I wasn't going to be the one who stood by and watched it die.

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**Hope you all enjoy this.  
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**Thoughts are very welcome.  
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